Happy mom – happy kids. Whether a mom is happy can have a profound impact on her children’s lives. Research from the UK suggests that if the mom is happy with her partner, the kids are more likely to be happy.1 Kids of happy moms are also more likely to do better in social skills and self-regulation, and to have less emotional problems2. A study from Germany found that the happier the mom, “the better her child’s verbal skills and the lower his or her socio-emotional problems”3. And those are just three examples. So how can you become happier? Research says one way is to keep a gratitude journal4 5 6 7.
What is a gratitude journal?
In a gratitude journal, people write down and reflect on “what they are grateful for”8. Many describe it as ‘counting one’s blessings’ 4 5 6 7.
It’s something that is done regularly8, such as every day4 5 6 or once a week 7.
You don’t need to do much to make a difference. The studies worked with 3 to ‘up to 6’ good things to write down 4 5 6 7.
What does the research say about keeping a gratitude journal?
Studies on the effect of ‘counting one’s blessings’ have been done around the world. And they all seem to agree that keeping a gratitude journal is good for you.
For instance, a Spanish study found that people in the gratitude journal group had more “positive affect” (i.e., they were happier) than those in a group that journaled about hassles they encountered4. They also felt more grateful4.
Similar results were found in Hong Kong, where those in the ‘count your blessings’ group had less “negative affect” than those in the control group. They also had less “negative affect” than what they started out with before starting to journal7.
A study in the U.S. also found that people in the gratitude journal group felt more grateful than those in the hassles journal group 5. They also were more optimistic, had greater life satisfaction, and less “negative affect” – i.e., they were happier5.
A study from Poland found that “counting one’s blessings can reduce the negative effects of daily stress” 6. People in the gratitude journal group had greater well-being than people who just journaled about their day without being asked to reflect on things they were grateful for 6.
One important point: the Spanish study included a follow-up. That showed that the “positive affect” went down again after participants stopped journaling for two weeks 4. So it’s important to make it a regular habit to get the benefits.
Finding time
Finding time for journaling can be a challenge for moms. I get it. There are so many other things to do! What I found encouraging was that one of the studies only did the journaling once a week, and it still had an effect7. Yes, the Spanish study found that a two-week break is too long 4, but still, writing down a few things at least once a week instead of having to do it every day seems more manageable.
Gratitude journal as memory keeper
When my mom read this post, she told me about another potential benefit: your gratitude journal can act as a memory keeper. For instance, were you grateful for your infant achieving a milestone or meeting your soulmate? Years later, you can look back on when that happened and maybe even glean a few details. So if your children, long after they’ve grown, ask you for stories, your gratitude journals can be one of the resources you can use to trigger your memories.
References:
1 Life Science Staff (2011). Happy moms make for happy kids. https://www.livescience.com/13541-happiness-survey-moms-children.html (last accessed Aug 14, 2023).
2 Nikolaou, D. (2012). Happy Mothers, Successful Children: Effects of Maternal Life Satisfaction on Child Outcomes. https://economics.osu.edu/sites/economics.osu.edu/files/JobMarketPaper_Nikolaou.pdf (last accessed Aug 14, 2023).
3 Berger, E.M. & Spiess, C. K. (2011). Maternal Life Satisfaction and Child Outcomes: Are they Related? Journal of Economic Psychology 32, 142-158. Quote from p. 142
4 Martínez-Martí, M.L., Avia, M.D., & Hernández-Lloreda, M.J. (2010). The Effects of Counting Blessings on Subjective Well-Being: A Gratitude Intervention in a Spanish Sample. The Spanish Journal of Psychology, 13 (2), 886-896.
5 Froh, J.F., Sefick, W.J., & Emmons, R.A. (2008). Counting blessings in early adolescents: An experimental study of gratitude and subjective well-being. Journal of School Psychology, 46, 213-233.
6 Krejtz, I., Nezlek, J.B., Michnicka, A., Holas, P., & Rusanowska, M. (2016). Counting One’s Blessings Can Reduce the Impact of Daily Stress. Journal of Happiness Studies 17, 25-39.
7 Chan, D.W. (2013). Counting blessings versus misfortunes: positive interventions and subjective well-being of Chinese school teachers in Hong Kong. Educational Psychology 33(4), 504-519.
8 Happyfeed (2018). What is a gratitude journal? https://www.happyfeed.co/research/what-is-a-gratitude-journal (last checked Aug 14, 2023)
I have tried a gratitude journal but haven’t stuck with it yet. It’s a fantastic idea, though!